TheKey Chronicle

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Sunday, June 27, 1999


Well, you thought I could write an entire Bitch Page with no mention of the new Star Wars film? Sorry to let you down - well, not entirely, this isn't exactly about The Phantom Menace but it is indirectly related to it...

Not too long ago, I was sitting in my lame-ass $10.50 an hour deskjob bragging to a co-worker about being in a Toys R Us parking lot at 1:15 in the morning the night the Phantom Menace toys were first put on shelves, running around, waving a lightsaber above my head yelling "TONIGHT WE WILL HAVE OUR REVENGE! I AM DARTH MAUL!!"

My co-worker winced and suggested that this was not something to brag about. Another co-worker suggested I get a life. Then I stopped and looked at them.

These, typically normal looking, conservative people who spend their lives calm, cool, and collected tell me I should get a life. For a moment I wondered how I should take the advice.

Then a voice inside my head said to me: "I AM DARTH MAUL AND I ROCK!" That's when I realized that I'd much rather be a 28 year-old kid with his toys and the guts to be silly and fun and goofy than a quiet, conservative suit-and-tie-type who's only idea of celebrating is tossing back a brew and whatever. I don't mean to say that there is anything wrong with their kind of lifestyle. I know for a fact one of them is more like me than he'd care to admit, but I can't help but feel a bit superior (even though I have a feeling they might be reading this right now!).

I don't need what most people seem to need in life. I'm a geek - I have my imagination - we all have our imagination. And my co-workers do too, they've just forgotten how to use it. I think if everyone had a Darth Maul double-bladed lightsaber (or whatever your silly equivalent would be) and at least once a day ran around waving it over their head our planet might be a slightly happier place.

[|Are you normal?]

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