TIME BARBARIANS (1990)

Buy it!

Positive Experience/Entertaining? Well, I've got to say no, not really. I know it seems silly to even review a film like this, but hey, I watched it, might as well write about it. But no, this was not a positive experience.


Technically any good? This is your standard, bad b-movie, designed to entice dumb teenage boys to watch in the hopes of finding some nudity and there is a bit of it, so that's nice for those of us who enjoy seeing topless women. Of course, one of them gets raped, so you might want to bear that in mind.

Aside from the rape scene, the film is generally what you would have expected to see on MST3K since it's pretty much on the level of Hobgoblins (and even shares a cast member). The acting is as flat as you'd expect, though I never blame the actors. The story is damn near non-existent, though I have to say it's more coherent than what we've got going on Battlestar Galactica, so there is that.


How did it leave me feeling? Achy neck from shaking my head so much. Even as a dumb b-movie, this isn't one I'd recommend. I also found it kind of weird that while we see a topless woman get raped, during the healthy, nice sex scene between consenting adults we see later on, there is no nudity. Kinda sad if you ask me. I always prefer to see boobs in a positive situation.


Final Rating? DNS - Do Not See. There are loads of better (read: more fun) bad b-movies out there (even with nudity) if you're interested in doing your own MST3K-style DIY quipathon.

ATOM AGE VAMPIRE (1960)

Buy it! Watch it now on Amazon! DL for free at A

Positive Experience/Entertaining? Not really--I suppose it was fine for a background movie, but the story was so cliche, even for its time.


Technically any good? It was reasonably acted, but this movie treads upon well traveled ground. Some of the makeup FX are good, but generally, this is just your standard "Jekyl and Hyde" story mixed in with a love triangle between a mad(ish) scientist, his dedicated (if amoral) assistant and a hot blonde. Some of the set pieces were nice. Sadly, even for a bad B-movie, the script was almost completely forgettable.


How did it leave me feeling? Meh. Like I said, this is just like a half-dozen other "J&H" stories that have been "borrowed" for scripts of other bad movies. I think MST3K did three or four of them (at least) with almost the exact same plot structure (LEACH WOMAN comes to mind the quickest).


Final Rating? DNS - Do Not See - unless you happen to be jonesing for a bad b-movie to quip to, MST3K-style, this movie isn't worth bothering with.