Yesterday, the news was all aflutter with reports that three Ohio men had been indicted on terrorism charges. Let's take a look at what [http://www.wtol.com/global/Story.asp?s=4530676|a February 21, 2006 article] at WTOL.com reported:
According to the indictment from the US Attorney's office, the suspects are Mohammad Zaki Amawi, Marwan Othman El-Hindi, and Wassim Mazloum. The indictment says all three were living in the Toledo area.
TERRORISTS IN TOLEDO? NOOOO!
Ahem, sorry... let's continue:
Amawi is a citizen of the US and also a citizen of Jordan. El-Hindi is a naturalized American citizen who was born in Jordan. Mazloum is a legal permanent resident of the US, who came here from Lebanon.
They sure sound like terrorists to me!! Check out their funny Araby sounding names and I bet they wear towels on their heads!
Mazloum also operated a car business in Toledo with his brother.
One of them has a brother?
CONSPIRACY!!
OH, sorry, uh, let's go on:
The indictment accuses him of offering to use his dealership as a cover for traveling to and from Iraq so that he could learn how to build small explosives using household materials.
Ah, yes, because a car dealership is the PERFECT cover for someone travelling abroad--wait a minute--
no it's not! Also, this guy's no threat to America--he's so thick he thinks he needs to go to Iraq to learn how to build small explosives using household materials. DUDE! It's all on the Internet, man! Come on!
Hell, even before the Internet all you had to do to learn how to build small explosives was pick up a copy of the
Anarchist's Cookbook or the
Poor Man's James Bond. Both were chock-full of violent stuff you could do with things you'd find around your house.
Come on, USG, you're not trying to tell us this dude was a threat to us! He's clearly thick as a post!
The indictment also names an unindicted co-conspiratory called "The Trainer," who has U.S. military backround in security, and bodyguard training.
Ooo, "The Trainer!" I know who he really is--Denzel Washington--didn't you see
Training Day?
But seriously, this dude has US Military training--my guess is he got it from [http://soaw.org|the School of the Americas]. So that makes us to blame again. :(
In count 1 of the indictment, prosecutors say the three met together many times, going back as far as November 2004.
A WHOLE YEAR AGO!! WOW!! ALBERTO'S REALLY DOING A GREAT JOB!
Yes, a conspiracy that stretches back to
2004!YOWZA!
The three reportedly conspired to recruit and train others for a violent jihad against United States forces and US allies in Iraq.How was this "violent jihad" going to take place? Would it rely heavily on those small explosives Husein El-Ignorant was going to learn how to build in Iraq?
Is it conspiracy still when the people planning the crime have no means or equipment to carry it out?
They also reportedly put together the funding needed for the operation, and collected the equipment needed,
Like
what equipment? What does one take with them on "violent jihad"?
and even travelled together to a local indoor shooting range for target practice.
MY GOD! THEY WERE LEARNING TO SHOOT GUNS!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Come on, people--it's not illegal to do target practice at a shooting range.
Prosecutors also say the three communicated by computer with an individual in the Middle East, passing information about potential attacks and terrorist training materials back and forth, as well as communication about potential weapons and targets.
Again, is this just a pal of Husein El-Dipshit? Or does this person have the initials ObL? Because there's a big difference between Hasan Al-Idiot saying he's going to attack the US and say, I don't know,
an actual terrorist.
The indictment did not say if any attacks were imminent.
Yeeeeah, I
doubt they were.
Two of the men discussed plans to practice setting off explosives on July 4, 2005, so that the bombs would not be noticed, the indictment alleges.
I don't think fireworks are illegal in Ohio. So, blowing stuff up shouldn't be a big deal.
It's not clear if the suspects went through with those plans.
I'm guessing...
it doesn't really matter.Blowing shit up on the 4th of July doesn't make you a terrorist--even if you say you're going to move up to something bigger when you're done "practicing."
Hell, when I was a kid I used to pretend that the Star Wars ships I played with were just the beginning that one day I'd be an astronaut. Guess what--I'm a writer.
Don't even have my pilot's license. :(
In count 2, the grand jury found that the three had similar plans to kill US citizens abroad in addition to service members.
Once again, I ask if these Ohioans actually had the means to commit such acts.
The last three counts in the indictment dealt specifically with Mohammad Zaki Amawi. One count said Amawi distributed information on bomb-making, which in itself is a federal crime.
WOW--seriously? Distributing information on bomb-making is a federal crime?? That should not be. Since when is certain
information illegal?
Prosecutors also said he verbally threatened President George W. Bush, and filed two counts for that. Those crimes are separate from the conspiracy.
OK, so that's true--threatening the life of the guy in the White House is a crime, I'll give you that (even if I don't agree that Bush has been properly elected--but that's fodder for another post). So, OK, nail that one guy on threatening Bush--but these other guys?
Dude--why not arrest Cooter from the old
Dukes of Hazard show? That's about where these guys are on the threat-o-meter as far as I can tell. Yet, I'm sure this arrest will go to the top of Bush's list of "VICTORIES IN TWAT!"
The War Against Terror has a new victory! Three guys from Ohio are no longer a threat to America!
GOD BLESS THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION!!!!!!
OH yeah and don't forget the [http://thepete.com/us-terror-that-media-forgot/|terrorist arrests that the USG doesn't want to brag about] (because these guys weren't Muslim--WHOOPS!).