OK, rant time. I'm running a bit late for work this morning. I've got to leave at 11:30 to safely get to Hollywood by 12:30pm to set up a film festival I'm projecting for. Not a huge deal if I'm late, but still, I like to be on time/professional so when I get out of the house at 11:45, I realize I'm going to be taking full advantage of my 80cc scooter--especially since I need to hit the PO Box to check on a check from a web client. Of course, the check wasn't there, but the slight detour slowed me down nonetheless.
See, that's what makes a scooter, even a slow one like mine, a great choice for a traffic-stupid city like LA. It may have the smallest engine on the road, but thanks to the absurd traffic situation in this city, during rush hour I can beat a Ferrari across town--seriously. When I used to drive a Nissan Maxima, a trip from the West Side into Hollywood would take an hour. I can do it in half that time if I take full advantage of my scooterness.
What that means is that I drive in between stopped cars at traffic lights and when making right-hand turns I move inbetween stopped cars and the curb. Once in a blue moon I'll pass moving traffic, but that's only for safety's sake, to get out of the way of a vehicle that can't pick a lane.
So, it's now about 12 Noon and I'm zipping along, not being dangerous in the least, but I do drive in between cars when they are stopped. I see other bikers doing this all the time. I did have a weak moment where I actually passed moving cars, but it was only for about ten seconds--again, not dangerous in the least. Oh and I ALWAYS signal.
So, about halfway through my trip I've just turned off SM Blvd for Beverly Blvd and I am coming up behind this big cargo truck when I see a black Mercedes slowly move into the right lane (my lane), just as I am about to take up the same space as it. The driver isn't signalling. He's just veering. He sees me (I assume), stops, moves back into his lane despite the fact that I've slowed down to let him in. I speak outloud when I ride because no one can really hear me over my own engine. I suppose it's possible he could have read my lips in his rear view mirror as I called him a dickhead for not just going since he wasn't bothering to signal anyway. Regardless, he doesn't, the light changes and he takes off.
I hit the throttle as well, racing up behind him and then cutting in front of the big cargo truck which is lumbering along slowly, now behind me. I then zoom off as traffic in the lefthand lane slows down (I don't really "zoom" at all since it was really just traffic slowing down that made me feel like I was moving fast). At the next light the black Mercedes pulls up next to me and the white guy behind the wheel calls out to me.
"Hey," he says smiling, holding his black cell phone to his face--he's not calling anyone, just holding it to his jaw absent-mindedly.
"Hi," I say back in a tone that suggests I'm suspicious of strange men talking to me in traffic.
"You drive that thing pretty aggressively," he tells me.
"I have to," I reply.
"Well, be careful on that thing."
"OK."
Light changes and I take off.
Fuckin' hell, man! How old will I be before people stop lecturing me on my behavior? How old will I have to look before people like this rich idiot think "no, I'm sure he knows what he's doing."
I mean, OH YEAH, my little 80cc Honda Elite is a major danger on the roads of Los Angeles!! WOOOOO!! LOOK OUT!
Here comes ThePete RACING ALONG AT A WHOPPING 43mph!! 47 down a hill!! YOWZA!!
I know it was just a few words exchanged an he probably wasn't even thinking about what he was saying (which is still lame) but when you consider just how many conversations LA drivers have with one another while on the road, you'll realize that this was a serious anomoly.
In hindsight I really feel like I should have read him the riot act. He's the rich guy driving around in a Mercedes--not one of the most energy or cost efficient vehicles around. I pay less than $3 to fill my tank even these days while he must pay over $30. I spew a tiny fraction of the polution he does into the air.
My scooter cost me $800--he probably pays more than half that every month in financing payments. Hell, if I crash my bike into something, the damage on most vehicles will be minimal if existent at all--sure, I'll be horribly mamed or killed, but that's my risk.
To me it struck me that this guy was suffering from two things and I'm not sure which:
1) Jealousy. Seeing another little prick on a bike blow past me in rush hour traffic, seemingly without a care in the world is something I myself have experienced. I beat that feeling by selling my car and buying a bike. ;)
2) Pomposity. A typical male affliction--especially typical among white men. Again, I suffer from this every so often, too. That doesn't make it right. The idea, here, is that you always think you are right, so when you see something you think is wrong, you have to say something about it (without considering whether you maybe wrong). He saw me and thought "he's not driving the way I would!" and decided to say something if/when he had the chance.
I'm all for interacting with my fellow human. I just wish people could think before they interact with me. Sure, I do/say stupid things, too. But I can at least say that I think about what I am about to say/do before I say/do it. I highly doubt this guy did that.
I mean, hell--I'm a licensed driver of motorcycles. I'd wager he's never even set his clammy white buttcheeks on one. Of all the things he had to speak up about, it was me--in the middle of traffic. NO ONE talks to other drivers in LA traffic, yet something I was doing was SO WRONG that he HAD to say something.
Get a hobby, dude.
Another thing that annoyed me about that guy was that I could barely hear him--do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with a helmet on? I can hear traffic sounds just fine, but words are muffled.
And what was that thing with the cell phone? Why was he holding it like that? Was that some sort of threat? "Oh, if you don't drive the way I want you to, I'll call the cops!"
Yeah, and then I'll tell them how you endangered my life by not checking to see if there was another vehicle in the lane before you started to swerve into my space--without signalling, no less (you didn't even signal when you decided to move back into your lane).
I hate to think of myself as a misanthrope--but what the hell else am I supposed to be when my fellow human gives me so many reasons to dislike him?
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