Ballpoint Adventures for March 19, 2006: There's still plenty for Barbie to be afraid of...

FDR was right--be afraid of fear, first... or else you might find yourself performing oral sex on someone who claims to be keeping you safe.

Ballpoint Adventures for March 18, 2006: Barbie has had enough "divine" sex from Billy--er--God...

Sorry for the break in posting classic BPA strips--read the last few leading up to this one here: thepete.com/tag/ballpoint-adventures/

The gist of it is that Billy convinced Barbie he was God so he could have sex with her. Silly Billy! Pretending to be God takes so much usually people only pretend *to talk* to him.

Ballpoint Adventures for March 17, 2006: God loves Skinny Chicks (OK, Billy Does)

Do most women like it when men talk dirty to them? I've always wondered if and why...

Ballpoint Adventures for March 16, 2006: Is a Penis Required for Divine Sex?

I've always wondered if God had a penis.

Ballpoint Adventures for March 15, 2006: Might sex with God be not so great?

When reality strikes religious sex! Well, kinda...

Ballpoint Adventures for March 14, 2006: Billy shows Barbie how good Divine Sex can be...

Oh yeah, like religion hasn't been used to get busy with Believers plenty of times.

Ballpoint Adventures for March 13, 2006: It's time for Divine Sex for Barbie!

This is the beginning of a series of BPA strips on religion and sex. Hopefully, you'll be offended or at least be made to feel a little awkward. ^_^

Ballpoint Adventures for March 12, 2006: Religious sex, Making Mom's Proud for 2000 years!

What? You don't think Mary's mom was proud God chose her to have sex with?

Ballpoint Adventures for March 11, 2006: Barbie proves she is a Holy Child.

OK, sex and religion have been going together forever, so get ready for some serious religion-skewering in the next huge stack of BPA strips...

Ballpoint Adventures for March 10, 2006: Barbie doesn't remember sex in Church...

Sex in the Bible?? It's there! Noah had sex with his daughters, if I'm remembering right.

Ballpoint Adventures for March 9, 2006: It turns out Billy is the Messiah!

Isn't this true of all people claiming to be a messiah?

Ballpoint Adventures for March 8, 2006: Why atheists believe in hell...

Tell me this isn't true... my fellow atheists, back me up on this!!

Ballpoint Adventures for March 7, 2006: Barbie is Scared of the World (who can blame her?)

It's true, I did. ^_^

Ballpoint Adventures for March 4, 2006: Finally the REAL god visits Billy

This strip works on a couple of levels since I am Billy's writer, I am his god. Since we have no real god, here in the real world, we get to write our own stories--mostly. Sure, we don't have control over everything, but we have control over how we react to what life throws at us. So, why not take responsibility and stop blaming some god? Step up to the plate and be a human.

Ballpoint Adventures for February 17, 2006: God's Back to His Old Annoying Self

That God, he's SUCH a kidder!! >_<

Ballpoint Adventures for February 16, 2006: God is Finally Straight with Billy

Yeah, I hate to break it to ya, but most of the stuff we humans are afraid of every day isn't anything worth being afraid of. Odds are, if you don't die of old age, you'll die by a car accident or cancer.

Ballpoint Adventures for February 15, 2006: "Satan" makes his case that he's really Satan

So, God tells us Satan is out to get us. Isn't that sort of like Donald Rumsfeld telling us that there are WMD in Iraq?

Ballpoint Adventures for February 14, 2006: Billy Thinks Satan Looks Awfully Familiar...

Those blasted suction-cup horns just never stay on. Even when you're God!!

Ballpoint Adventures for February 13, 2006: God and Satan are pals, who knew?

So, if God wants someone to be President of the USA, doesn't that mean the election's been fixed by God? And doesn't that make God anti-Democracy?

Ballpoint Adventures for February 12, 2006: God is back and he's got a loophole!

This is always the excuse you get from Believers when you ask them how God can seem to make mistakes. What a load of crap.