Well, the Godzilla weekend was a blast. Made it to every screening I had intended to despite various transportational difficulties. Last Thursday we got a flat tire. Then, on Friday, my scooter was making a strange sound. Finally on Tuesday night, the second showing let out so late that TheFiancee had to go straight to her late night rehearsal. Luckily, good old Blake was there to save the day. If only I had my laptop, I could have just hung out at the rehearsal and got work done, too... no big deal, either way.
Also mananged to catch FAHRENHEIT 911 and SPIDER-MAN 2 over the last week. Watch for my Pocket Review of SM2 and the other Godzilla films I saw, as well. However, if you really want to know what I thought of SM2, you can click the "more" link below. Although I wouldn't recommend doing so unless you've already seen the movie or aren't planning on seeing the movie. Just trust me on this.
In other news, my PowerBook is functioning just fine. I have had a couple of odd lockups, but those were (I believe) due to a new version of a 3rd party app I DLed. Oh and I TOTALLY missed my deadlines for finishing up TheKey Volume 1 by the end of June. I also didn't manage to finish editing Volume 3 by the end of June, either. Also, the first issue of ThePete.Comic IS still coming out, but it'll take me another week or so. Still editing it. Oh and I also wanted to have 26 women posted in TheBeauty album, but I've just been too damn busy. Will someone invent a time machine already???
I gotta buy a lottery ticket...
Remember, don't click "more" below (or scroll down if you're reading this entry in the archives) if you haven't already seen SPIDER-MAN 2 or don't plan on seeing it at all.
Thinx! ^_^
In my opinion:
SPIDER-MAN 2 SUCKS
That's right, I said it and I'd say it again.
While half of the script was interesting and made the right choices for character, story and dynamic between both, the other half was contrived, boring and WAY too silly. After the first SPIDER-MAN movie, Sam Raimi had a lot to live up to. HE HAD TO MAKE ANOTHER GOOD MOVIE.
Sadly, he rested on his laurels, fell back onto his old gags of showing cute women scream and lead characters getting wacked on the head for laughs. Seriously, this movie is old-skool Raimi and it's COMPLETELY inappropriate for a SPIDER-MAN movie.
I'm not saying it's not funny. I'm just saying that SPIDER-MAN ISN'T. Sure, he has the pithy comebacks while he's fighting a bad guy, but there WERE no pithy comebacks in this movie! I think all of twice Spider-Man actually SAYS something to anyone in the costume, during a fight. But I'm rambling, let me make my argument in a more organized fashion...
The general premise was weak and tired (Has Sam Raimi never seen SUPERMAN 2?), but I think it could be written in a way that could make it interesting. Instead, the most interesting that the film gets is by suggesting that because Peter Parker doesn't want his powers (because they are making his "normal" life difficult), he can quite literally wish them away. His webbing stops shooting and soon he can't climb walls. He even looks like he's lost his chest muscles in one scene. This ALL happens without any magical process, or any enemy's power-removing ray. His powers go away because he sub-conciously wills them away.
But at one point, he suddenly realizes he HAS to be Spider-Man and WOOSH his powers return!
WHY does he have to be Spider-Man? Because lives need to be saved! How is this any different from the times during the day when he'd wish that he wasn't Spider-Man? I DON'T KNOW. It seems that when Peter Parker is feeling selfish, he's INSANELY selfish. Selfish enough to wish his powers away completely. But what about all that "With great power comes great responsibility" stuff that Uncle Ben convinced him of in the last movie? Out the window. In a dream sequence, Peter touchingly tells his uncle that he can't follow his advice. He is "Spider-Man, no more."
TALK about a cheesy-ass line. I mean, sure the "with great power" line is cheesy, too, but that's the premise of the character. A line like "I am Spider-Man, no more." is so overdramatic it's offensive to anyone over the age of 15 (or it should be). In fact, there was so little subtlety in this film, it's amazing to me that people are raving about it as much as they are. When Doc Ock becomes the villian, there's all these shots of mostly women screaming, lost of metal clanking in shots that are not well lit. The editing suddenly feels like one of director Sam Raimi's EVIL DEAD movies. A scene like this is scary for little kids for sure and a bit disturbing to adults, or at least me. In fact, Sam likes to put women screaming in this movie so much, I wonder what his home-life is like.
But this over-the-top evil-scientist-birthing-scene brings me to my next gripe. There is NO subtext in this movie whatsoever. I'm not an old man, but I've been around. I've dated a few women and if there's one thing women have in common, they are NEVER as easy to read as MJ is in this movie. MJ is constantly making it obvious for Peter just what she is thinking and why she is thinking it. She does so by telling him directly. HELL-LOOOO! Doesn't this make her the LEAST realistically written woman in ALL of cinema? In all of the WORLD???
The same goes for the Doc Ock and Peter Parker and Aunt May. EVERYone in this movie is in PERFECT touch with their feelings and knows EXACTLY what to say and exactly when to say it. Aunt May has a "stirring" speech about what it means to be Spider-Man that she is CLEARLY DELIVERING TO PETER, DESPITE the fact that she is not supposed to know that Peter is Spider-Man. She falls just short of saying "Don't give up being Spider-Man, Peter! You saved my life!"
That's about as "sub" as the sub-text gets.
Then, there's the Jesus-stuff. Oh, Christ, do I wish film makers would LOSE their Jesus complexes. GROW UP, PEOPLE. We all feel persecuted in life, that doesn't mean we should explore these boring, tired, cliche-ridden emotions in our movies, thank you very much!! In SPIDER-MAN 2, Spidey is made to seem like such a sad, sacrificial martyr, that I wanted to puke. OH, I'M SORRY YOU'VE GOT THESE GREAT POWERS, MAN! IT MUST SUCK BEING ABLE TO SAVE LIVES AND CHANGE THE WORLD.
Awwwwww....
The film goes OUT of it's way to make Peter's life SUCKY as Spider-Man and as Peter Parker. It goes so far as to be absurdly silly. From a banquet Peter attends where he sees EVERY last bit of finger-food stolen JUST as he's about to grab it (this happens SEVERAL times on screen) to a fight sequence with Doc Ock where out of ALL of the innocent bistanders he grabs as a hostage, it's none other than Aunt May!! WHAT A CO-INKY-DINK!! This scene goes off the depend as she gets tossed around like a rag doll only to be perfectly safe and unharmed at the end of the scene. WOW, I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!
Oh wait, yes, you probably did. I know, I did.
Then, there's the train sequence. In a scene reminicent of the absurd ending of SPEED, Spidey is fighting a battle with Doc Ock on a train that is trapped on a track that elevated thirty, or so, stories up and ends, inexplicably ten blocks away. There are no stops on this portion of the track, and why it would need to be elevated so high, defies logic. Regardless, it's a great moment for the script to show off how contrived it is. So, Doc Ock sets the train's speed to EXTREME SPEED and then destroys the trains controls. Destroying the controls, also causes a blast of smoke to block out the lenses on Spidey's mask, so he takes it off, exposing his identity to the passengers, but who cares? He needs to save their lives. I was actually cool with this.
The point is, Spidey must now choose between fighting Doc Ock or saving the train. Of course, the hero chooses to (we assume) let Doc Ock get away so he can save the passengers. But does he simply web spin ahead of the train a few blocks and spin a giant web in between two buildings that with catch the train? No. (You may remember the advance trailer for the original SPIDER-MAN movie where he catches a helicopter in between the Twin Towers.) Does Spider-Man simply hang out the windows and shoot webbing at the train wheels to cause them to slow down manually? No. Does he run to the back of the train and shoot several web lines between the train and other buildings to slow down the train that way? Of course, not.
Instead, he pulls a Superman, I know, wrong movie franchise. Someone tell that to Sam Raimi. Anyway, so Spidey hangs out in front of the train and sticks his feet into the wooden planks that make up the track. They get torn up against his feet but the train doesn't even slow down. Then, he decides that his ONLY option is to shoot a web line with each hand onto buildings and then hold onto those web lines to within an inch of his life. Never mind the fact that this is the last logical thing a person who is as "brilliant" as we are told Parker is would do. Never mind the fact that he didn't really need to hold on to the webbing (it IS webbing, he can just stick his end to the train). We need to see him stretch and strain and go through intense pain to save those New Yorkers. This amounts to long close-up shots on Tobey McGuire trying to pinch out the meanest flatulence ever. Once he does stop the train (big surprise), just in the nick of time (another big surprise), the passengers pull him up and carry him through the train in a sequence that reminds one of one of the many Jesus movies Sam Raimi no doubt grew up with. They then place him on the ground, unconcious.
But like Jesus, himself, he rises again! He realizes his mask is still off but the New Yorkers tell him that they won't tell anyone who he is. Like Peter's got his name tattooed on his forehead or something. Then, two kids wander up with his MASK. WTF??? HE TOOK OFF HIS MASK ON THE ROOF OF THE TRAIN!! HOW COULD THEY HAVE HIS MASK???
I would have been fine with him spinning through NYC without his mask on, I think that would have been a cool, dramatic choice. He ends up taking it off later, anyway.
I could go on. BELIEVE ME, I could go on, but I don't want to tear apart the entire movie. As much as I enjoy taking apart movies (even ones that I like and that are good) I don't have time. This movie deserves to be skewered because it's a pale comparison to the first Spidey movie.
How can I explain why everyone seems to like it so much? I can't fully, but I do have my theories.
1) People don't care about good storytelling. After years of mostly LOUSY scripts getting made into equally louse movies (ARMAGEDDON, PEARL HARBOR, anything else produced by Jerry Bruckheimer), Hollywood has lowered the bar so far, the American movie-going population might as well be putting dirt-flavored topping on their popcorn. (In other words, they've been served crap so long, dirt tastes good.)
2) It's the social climate of the time. The last #1 movie in the box office is FAHRENHEIT 911. No matter what side of the partisan fence you're on, after seeing that movie (or refusing to see it) you want something that's fun and escapist. And that's just what SPIDER-MAN 2 is.
In the end, I must say that while I did like aspects of the script, I did feel that the true, awesome potential of SPIDER-MAN 2 was wasted horribly. I've never come so close to walking out of a movie so many times during a screening.
And I'm a Spider-Man fan, so you know I wasn't biased against it going in.
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