Why I don't like Batman as a character anymore.

The other day, I opened up the YouTube app on my iPad Mini and it recommended a video to me featuring a UK-based American comic called Reginald D. Hunter who, in the clip explains that Bruce Wayne is a rich white guy who beats up street criminals and how Batman is a conservative's wet dream.

And when you stop and think about it, he's 100% right. Bruce Wayme is a disgustingly rich guy who can afford to spend millions on the Batmobile, the Batwing, the Batcopter, an endless supply of batarangs, all the equipment in the Bat Cave, and more.

Wouldn't those millions be better spent helping to fund schools in Gotham's poorest neighborhoods? Schools that could provide a good education so that kids don't grow up to be thugs like the one that killed Bruce's parents. Hell, he could fund after school programs so that poor kids have some place to go and won't get mixed up with the bad elements in Gotham. He could also fund a jobs program to help poor folks train to get jobs or HEY how about Wayne use those detective skills to find or even creat new jobs to hire those poor folks that are so desperate for work that they turn to illegal stuff?

Or, you know, he could dress up in a bat costume and beat on thugs. Which ever works better, I guess.

Seriously, I'm not a fan of Batman anymore because of this obvious truth: criminals largely exist because there are not enough legal opportunities for poor kids growing up and adults who grew up poor. The whole super-hero concept plays on the fantasy that violence against violence could make a difference when, obviously, it will, at best, prolong the violence, or even make it worse.

I know I sound like a bleeding-heart liberal, but do the math. Crime will always exist, but in tight communities with plenty of opportunities to make a good living, they put walls and gates up to keep people without those opportunities from getting in. So, if you think there isn't a correlation between money/opportunities and poverty/street-crime I think you're just plain batty.

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Wouldja look at that baby? She’s gorgeous!  It’s one of the few cars I’d want to own if I actually wanted to own a car.

SIGH…!

DARK KNIGHT (2008)

Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely entertaining but only a positive experience if entertainment is all you want. This was a mess of a movie with just enough explosions and "drama" to keep audiences unaware that this was a poorly made film.


Technically any good? The acting from all involved was just fine. The FX were solid and believable across the board (if not a little corny). The music was inventive and actually did some very cool things. The script, however, was a heavy-handed, plot-challenged, lightning-paced mess. Batman felt stapled into the movie, so much so that I felt the film should have been called "Two-Face." Joker is in it (duh) but he feels more like he's stapled in, as well. The plot (what there is of it) congeals around Harvey Dent's story arc. Sure, it's all from Batman's point of view, but don't expect to see him do anything more interesting than good stunts and talk too much. The Batman from Batman Begins had to wrestle with his past, confront his demons and go against his mentor. In this he does almost none of that.


How did it leave me feeling? Disappointed. As the audience was clapping I was wondering what movie they'd just seen because the one I saw had gaping plot holes where characters would vanish from the movie randomly and return only when the plot called for them. The film I sat through featured characters openly discussing morals in blatant, obvious, and boring terms. In the second-to-last (of four) climaxes, as Batman explains to Joker what he's just be shown, I found myself wondering why the movie felt the need to have Batman explain what we'd just seen. Imagine, as Luke is flying away from the destroyed Death Star, he contacts Vader on the radio and explains the morals behind what he did.


Final Rating? NFI - NetFlix It. Honestly, the stunt work will make more sense on the small screen and I don't think it's worth the money to sit through the bad script. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have saved my $12.

Check out my absurdly long diatribe against this movie.

A Few Things I Didn't Like About "Dark Knight" (SPOILERS)

"You got your classic super hero in my crappy advertising campaign!" "You got your crappy advertising campaign in my classic super hero!" "They don't really taste very good together." "No, they don't."

First off, DK was very entertaining. So please, don't get me wrong. I liked Heath Ledger's interpretation of the Joker quite a bit. Christian Bale is always great as Bruce Wayne and Batman, and frankly, he's perfect casting for both characters. Aaron Eckhart was pretty solid as Harvey Dent and Maggie Gyllenhaal did a good job of taking over for Mrs. Tom Cruise. Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are always good, so let's just move on.

I won't go into the things that I thought were good because everyone else is talking about those and I generally agree with what others like about the movie.

Here's where this post gets a little spoilerific, so read on with care (it's also REALLY long).

1) What's the plot of DK? Give it to me in one or two sentences. Here's as close as I could come:

Harvey Dent does his best to shut down the mob families that run Gotham City with the help of his Assistant DA, Rachel Dawes, ace police detective Jim Gordon and, the Batman. Oh and the Joker is the monkey wrench.

Sounds like a riveting plot, huh? Cop goes after mobsters who are being messed with by a backstoryless disfigured guy in clown makeup. OH yeah and Batman's in it. Really, Batman is superfluous. You could have stuck John Ashcroft in there instead of Batman and largely you'd be able to get away with it.

2) Joker has no concrete (or even vague) backstory. That was fine in the comic, since eventually they'd have to get to it, but the movie never does and it kind of shows in Ledger's performance. He's good, but feels like he's sprung from Chris Nolan's forehead, as opposed to seeming like something specific made him like he is. I don't need something spelled out--but I need more than the suggestion that he is a force of nature and that's it. He can represent a force of nature, but he still should have a backstory.