ILLEGAL WIRETAPS USELESS--AQ USES MESSENGERS, D'OH!

Yep, we've got Homer Simpson in the White House (have they done an episode like that yet?). What a joke.

Back in April of 2005, [http://thepete.com/bush-scared-by-cloud/|I blogged] on another of Bush's Homer-moments when he was rushed into an underground bunker after what ended up being a cloud was dedected heading right toward the White House. Now, according to [http://www.insightmag.com/Media/MediaManager/wiretaps_0.htm|an article] at InsightMag.com, it turns out he skipped over the rubber-stamp court for domestic spying and broke the law by allowing said domestic spying for nothing. The wiretaps he ordered were useless because Al Qaeda was simply using human messengers to deliver it's information.

MAN, those AQ guys are SMART!!

Of course, if AQ really had a clue they'd use homing pigeons!

Regardless, I sure am glad my rights were violated so the USG couldn't get any intel!

So, let's check the score now:

1) Iraqi WMD

WRONG

2) Iraqis welcome us with flowers and candy

WRONG

3) Iraq Attack (which you didn't mention [http://thepete.com/uns-annan-iraq-attack-illegal/|was illegal]) would go smoothly and quickly costing billions, not hundreds of billions

WRONG

4) We'll get Saddam dead or alive.

WR--OK, well, there's one for the Bush team

5) We'll get Osama dead or alive.

WRONG

6) The USG should cut funding to New Orleans levees because, like when the hell is a really bad storm ever going to hit that city?

WRONG

7) Taliban vanquished from Afghanistan

[http://news.google.com/news?q=taliban&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&sa=N&tab=wn|WRONG] ([http://english.people.com.cn/200512/28/eng20051228_231395.html|they just attacked a girl's school] and [http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/nbc/nbc_airs_exclusive_taliban_interview_30056.asp|NBC just aired an interview with a Taliban biggy-wig])

8) Iraqi insurgents in their last throes (throws?)

WRONG

9) Iraqi insurgents are actually Al Qaeda or at least foreign fighters--not Iraqis fighting the occupation

[http://thepete.com/iraqi-insurgents-not-al-qaeda/|WRONG]

10) Medicare bill will cost $400+

WRONG ([http://thepete.com/the-fax-of-bush-43s-lies/|It actually cost $500+ and Bush hid that fact before the vote])

11) Created commercials that weren't sourced to the USG and were still legal because they weren't slanted in favor of the Bush programs they "reported" on

WRONG (because they were slanted. Check out [http://thepete.com/bush-43-admin-lies-breaks-fed-law-again/|this post] or [http://www.gao.gov/decisions/appro/303495.htm|read about it] at www.GAO.gov)

12) Torture is a great way to exract intel.

WRONG

13) Spying on Americans is neccesary to keep them safe

WRONG

OK, that's 13 strikes that I can count just off the top of my head.

13 strikes--can he be "out" now, please?

13 strikes!!

If this were baseball, he'd have struck out four times!



13 strikes!