of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. So, I decided to write my
own. I did the same with Star Wars: Episode 3 and it helped me avoid therapy.
Earlier tonight I watched the BSG series finale and let's just say I'm glad I wrote my own first. I'm not saying mine was perfect, but as a first draft it rocked the pants of the one that got made.
Anyway, so, here's a spoiler-free sampling of my immediate feelings in the hour after watching it:
I tweeted my first post-viewing reaction to the Battlestar Galactica series finale about ten or fifteen minutes later:
Just finished the Battlestar Galactica finale (the actual one). Did M. Night Shyamalan direct it? Because I hated it like he did.
The following wasn't anything I wrote, but it also encapsulates my feelings. It comes from Twitter-user Tim3PO who Tweeted:
Hey Ron Moore (aka George Lucas Junior), if your goal was to destroy all that made BSG amazing, within one 3 part story. Congrats A-hole
And then I went over to Battlestar Galactica composer, Bear McCreary's Battlestar blog to see if he had any release date for the season 4 soundtrack, which is all I'm really interested in at this point. Not seeing any info, I took a gander at the comments on his "discuss the Battlestar finale" post. After reading mostly glowing, blindly fanboyish reviews, I had to post something. Here's what I posted about the Battlestar Galactica series finale:
My wife and I watched the last two episodes back-to-back earlier this evening. While watching the last two episodes, I just kept thinking to myself: “I just want to know when the season 4 soundtrack is out.â€
So, no offense to Bear, his music is brilliant, but his music was the best thing about the finale–sadly, that’s not saying much. Completely disappointed in it (the finale). Not one resolution did I like. I’m glad I spent the last two weeks of my life writing my own finale, yes, just for fun (I’m a writer, so it’s not a big deal–to me, the show is a big deal so I thought it was worth it).Anyone who wants to enjoy how I’ll pretend BSG ended can check out my website. It’s not a perfect finale, but if you wait a few months for Bear’s score to come out, you can listen to his music while you read it. Just add a “.com†to my user name and you’re there.
Sorry for the shameless plug, but for crying out loud, I’m disappointed. -ThePete (a fellow huge fan of BSG who also loved it for the morally centered ambiguity.)
SIGH. I feel like I need to share my scripts as a form of support for those of us who feel like we deserved a better ending than we got. Or really, for those of us who are old enough to remember the last disappointing Battlestar Galactica series finale--the monstrosity that was Galactica 1980.
It's like us Battlestar fans just can't cut a break!!
Maybe that can change, in a small way, at least, with my scripts. Here are the links and you can decide for yourself (remember they're first drafts):
Part 1 (57-page 163k PDF)
Part 2 (55-page 155k PDF)
And, if you're not reading this on thepete.com, please go there and click on the "page 2" link to read my spoilerish comments regarding the series finale, assuming you want to read them. I think you might. You might also want to read more about my very own Battlestar Galactica finale script. Or not. But just know that I wrote both scripts over 2 weeks, before watching either of the two final episodes.
Posted via email from thepete's posterous
SPOILER ALERT! What follows are huge spoilers. Seriously. I don't think they'll ruin the finale for you, but if you like BSG and haven't seen the finale yet, DON'T READ ON. You might be one of the people who are capable of enjoying it!!! DON'T RISK IT!! Better to give the show a chance and be wrong--then you can come back here and commiserate.
OK--THIS IS IT!! YOU'RE LAST WARNING!!
OH and if you're Ron Moore reading this please don't take my rants personally. I seriously love the majority of your writing over the years. You did an amazing thing and made me give a crap about a scifi show again. You built my expectations up and it'd be a challenge for any writer to meet those expectations. So, no disrespect meant.
HERE WE GO:
As I mentioned in my comment on Bear McCreary's blog, not a SINGLE resolution worked for me. Let's look at them now:
Starbuck was, as my wife suggested, raptured away, I guess?? I like to think of her plot-end as her evolving to the same species that Wesley Crusher evolved to in his last episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (a show which I believe Ron Moore also had something to do with). Of course, I when I say that I "like" to think of it that way I mean that I will take that explanation because at least it's funny.
Apollo goes EXPLORING!! WOW, so, the guy named after the Greek god of light, truth, archery, medicine, plague (and more) is going hiking!! YEAH!
Laura, buys it on a joy-ride with her S.O. Sheesh. She survives the (least satisfying but) biggest battle of the series and dies on a joy-ride???
Adama, ends up in... Jersey, I think? (Oh bite me. There are too, mountains in New Jersey!)
Cavil ends it the cowards way.
Leoben... is barely IN IT.
Earth? Oh yeah, about that--um, M. Night Shyamalan wrote/directed that bit, so yeah, that's not what we said it was. Which leads me to say:
FRACK OFF, RON: MY EARTH IS THE FIRST AND ONLY EARTH, BITCH!
Baltar and #6 end up being...
Hera is mitochodrial Eve--whoa--goin' out on a limb, there!! You know, you don't HAVE to give us essentially the same ending as the original.
The future Cylons are... holy shit! My aibo is attacking me!! Oh wait, I just kicked it away, it's cool. AH!! My Robosapien is coming at me with a cigarette lighter!! Oh wait, it's batteries died, I'm safe now. OH CRAP! ASIMO is coming at me with a trumpet!! Oh, he's playing it. Nevermind.
Seriously--dude, Ron, I think you're writing is brilliant at times, but WHAT THE HELL DOES THE PIGEON HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? And don't tell me Kara is Jesus, because then you'd need a Judas and a betrayal and A SACRIFICE!! JESUS CHRIST, I'M AN ATHEIST AND I KNOW THAT!!
NO ONE DIES IN THE BATTLE!! WTF!!
I don't ever need to watch this series again because the plot is so flippin' messy and convoluted and it doesn't clean up in the end and no one dies, so I can't even enjoy the tragic elements because THERE ARE NO TRAGIC ELEMENTS OR LOSS OF ANY KIND!
There'd be no point in watching the entire series again, really, since the reasons I kept watching it went away so long ago and never came back.
The reasons I kept watching it:
1) In the miniseries, Adama gives this wonderful speech about how humanity must deserve to survive. By the end of the series, I'm really convinced it should die. There's no doubt in my mind that after, like, 3 coups, an insurrection and a bunch of suicides, Adama is among the shittiest leaders ever. When we see him vomit on his own hand in the finale, I'm like "see? the guy should never have been trusted with a Battlestar in the first place! No wonder humanity sucks today!"
2) Baltar's wonderful duality. James Callis makes me want to become an actor. I was fine with the idea of him becoming "born again" or whatever, but DO something with it. In the end he's just an "in-the-right-place at the-right-time" guy. So, that's what so much was building up to?
"Oh, I'm sorry, but my hot-ass girlfriend and I just found this little girl. I say, does she belong to you?"
You know, that dude Tim3PO compared Ron Moore to George Lucas, but I kinda feel that's not a fair comparison--at least George waited 15 years to make me not want to be a fan any more.
Ron Moore was the best thing about Star Trek: The Next Generation and did some amazing stuff with Battlestar Galactica. But the finale was not among that stuff.
Still an impressive track record, really. I just hope Ron stays away from the Deus Ex Machina stuff. If I wanted to hear the excuse "God did it." I'd read the Bible (I've heard it's got a disappointing ending, too).
