Monday, February 5, 2007

Family, Career, Sacrifices and The Normal Life

It sems like every day it's a battle of scheduling. Between this website(including creating posts, comics and media), my 8-hour-a-dayjob, my various fiction projects, my wife and just relaxing, I try to get a bit done from every category and usually fail. On the other hand, I do manage to get some things done, which is nice.

Notice how in the above list of things I didn't mention family. I'm of the mind that life is very short and that if I want to die happy I need to get everything I KNOW I want to do, preferably, as soon as possible. This isn't to say I constantly am working toward one goal or another--well, actually, it does.

As a result my family is often finding themselves annoyed with me. I put plenty of other things in front of seeing family almost every time someone wanted to see me. My niece was born last spring on the east coast and I haven't seen her in the flesh yet. I didn't make my grandmother's funeral because I was shooting a short film that day. I was the director and it had taken a bit of doing to get a day when all the actors could be there together with the crew (always a challenge when you have no budget).

In short, I make a lot of sacrifices for what I want to do with my life. My family, as families are known to do, tend to inadvertantly use guilt to try to manipulating me into sacrificing the most important stuff in my life just so I can have a meal or spend some quality time with them.

During said quality time I find myself lukcy to be asked about my passions. This past weekend my father and step-mother were in town to see TheWife and I (though they flew into also see my step-sister an hour east of us and my ex-step-brother, his wife and their daughter)--so it's not about just seeing me). They planned to spend all day Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night with us. Of course, they didn't bother to ask us if we had that much time to spare. So, we told them"sorry" and only spent last evening with them.

They still tried to get us to change our plans and while it didn't descend into a shouting match, I wonder how long it will be before they start treating me like the adult I've been treating them like for my entire life.

How many childhood birthdays did my various parents (I have 4) miss because of business trips, late office meetings and bad traffic?

It's no wonder I really hate celebrating my birthday. Growing up I always felt like I came in a close second to my parents career choices. Now it's my turn to make the career choices over family and they don't get it despite the fact that I've learned these values from them.

Kind of amusing when you think about it.

I suppose the good news is that they are catching on. There's still the familial guilt and overt disappointment, but they seem togive up on swaying me much sooner than they used to. I don't know if it's conscious on their part or not, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

I know my mom is the only of the 4 parents I have who actually bothers to read my blog, so let's hope I didn't just give her a reason to never read it again. :)

Sorry, just need to muse/vent a bit this morning.

Stay tuned for the Project365 picture for today and more of my quips to the State of the Empire speech as well. I'l have part 7 up by 2pm PT.

So much more to blog on, too...

Crap, I wanted to mention about how Saturday night was the first time in a month that we've actually hung out with friends. I hardly see any of my friends. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. The only time I usually see friends is if we're working on some project.

I wonder if my family understands that it's not just them I can't make time for. Ah well...

4 comments:

  1. It's time for you to grow up and get over it.

    I don't agree with most of what you cry about on this website. You are wrong about more than you are right - but this response is not about that fact.

    I know you are proud of the fact that you don't believe in God. (Don't worry - He believes in you!) But whatever belief system you espouse, certainly you can agree about the golden rule, karma, or whatever you want to call it. Treat others how you want them to treat you, and it will come back to you. Just because you had a shitty childhood, and your parents divorced, don't blame them for your being screwed up now. You choose what life you live, and only you are responsible for your choices.

    Your father - who I'm sure disagrees with you more than I do - only loves you, and wants to see you. Instead, when he comes to town to visit you, you cut him out just to spite him. And, to do what? Draw bad cartoons? Piss and moan on the internet? Boy, you sure taught him a lesson!

    So what if your father has taken a long time to grow up and realize what he missed? Are you going to take that long to grow up too?

    You are selfish.

    You have chosen to put together a (bad) website and spend your time in a quixotic fight against "the machine" instead of spending a little time with the man who loves you not only because of who you are, but in spite of who you are.

    The big, badass "ThePete" showed him though, didn't he?!? He played on the computer, taking a picture of himself, instead of seeing his old man. I hope you're proud.

    And don't tell me your "career" is more important than family - a temp job is not a career, and I know this crap isn't a career.

    Don't blame anyone else that you are a selfish, spoiled brat. Be proud of the fact that you're an ass! You chose to play on the internet instead of spending time with your family. You chose to draw cartoons instead of spend time with your friends. Just remember about that karma thing, and don't be surprised when it bites you in the ass.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, if only I had the time to reply to this point by point, but tonight is Valentine's Day evening so I'm spending it with TheWife. I'll just try to encapsulate what I would have said in a single sentence (or two):

    If you think you can know me from what I blog about, you're wrong, and you betray your own bullshit elitist attitudes by coming to my site, telling me how crappy it is and then how I should live my life. You're right, I am selfish--no one else is going to do that for me, which is the whole problem.

    Piss off unless you have something constructive to say--don't waste anyone's time with these bland, typical, predictable, shallow insults that are so off the mark it would only be worth the entertainment value to respond to them.

    Damn, that's three sentences. Ah well... time for a nice romantic dinner with TheWife. I hope everyone's V-Day was pleasant! (Yes, even yours, "TheObserver.")

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day evening - I truly do.

    If I don't know you from what you blog about, how good of a writer are you? I think you sell yourself short - I know you fairly well. As for my "own bullshit elitist attitudes," I'm sorry I don't have a blog so you could know more about me, and how you've misjudged me. I'm an average guy, working each week to pay my bills.

    I also apologize for insulting your website. I was tired, and should not have done that. I did not, though, mock you for implying that you yourself are the one and only "Pete," nor for objectifying your partner as "TheWife," so please don't mock me for being the observer to this spectacle.

    And also, please don't dismiss my comments as "bland, typical, predictable, shallow insults" just because you don't want to take the time to consider them. That makes your response seem like "elitist bullshit."

    You can be bitter and blame your "4 parents" about how your life has sucked, or you can get over it. If you are bitter and vengeful, you only perpetuate the problems that you blame on them. The screwed up - get over it! But please don't tell me that being spiteful to however many of your parents you're ignoring is a sign that you are already over it. I know that a couple of guerrilla posts won't help you see the light about your misguided political beliefs, but I would appreciate you contemplating the more important things - your relationship with your family.

    I know more than you think, so please don't dismiss me as an idiot - I haven't done that to you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OK, someone doesn't follow instructions well.

    Once again:

    Piss off unless you have something constructive to say–don’t waste anyone’s time with these bland, typical, predictable, shallow insults that are so off the mark it would only be worth the entertainment value to respond to them. I've been on the 'net for ten years and have dealt with your kind on too many occasions to list. Dig through this site enough and you'll find a good number of people who sound just like you. I've heard it all before.

    I would end my response here, but I gotta say one thing: I think it's hilarious how you tell me how well you know me from my blog after I tell you that you can't know me from my blog, alone. I tell you this blog doesn't come close to fully reflecting who I am and you say it does. This effectively admits to me that you fill in all the blanks for yourself without even realizing it, which makes you a pretty unreliable source for opinions on my blog. In short, you have no clue.

    This is the last time I'll respond to your comments and if you persist in being negative, inflammatory and trollish, I'll ban you from this site altogether. This site is mine and it will contain only content I don't have a problem with. A democracy this site is not. Don't like it? Get your own damn site and bag on me all you like there.

    Stick that in your god and praise it.

    ReplyDelete