Da Vinci Code (2006)

Positive Experience/Entertaining? No--not really at all. The film was a chore to sit through, although quipping away at it was a great way to pass the 2h40m length of the film.


Technically any good? I don't care if it was an adaption of a book--I didn't read the book--it was a sucky movie. It consisted of the lead characters going from one location to another, stopping and explaining things to one another at each stop. This was punctuated by scenes of mild "excitement" and Ian McKellan chomping on some sceney with his usual brilliance. The script was structured in a way as to make no logical sense by the end, so don't try to make sense of it.


How did it leave me feeling? Puzzled (no pun intended) as to how this movie could be doing as well as it is. Apparently, the world likes talky, overly-explanatory films that tell you exactly what to think. X-Men 3 was too short and this was WAAAAY too long.


Final Rating? DNS (Go read the book again and some one STOP RON HOWARD AND AKIVA GOLDSMAN FROM MAKING MOVIES ANY MORE!! THEY SUCK AT IT!)

Click on to [http://thepete.com/da-vinci-code-2006/2/|page 2] to read a spoilerific review.

WOW this movie was terrible. Worse than I thought it would be. Like I said in my PokeRev, it was all just people explaining stuff. Sure, the film has flashbacks that look like they had about the budget of those historical recreations you see on the History Channel, but generally, it's just everyone explaining things to one another. What's even better is that they don't cite any sources for their "facts".

In fact, toward the end Hanks has a line that goes something like this: "According to the evidence Jesus was at least a great leader."

Does he bother to tell us what this evidence is? NOPE! Is it the Bible? That's hardly historical evidence.

Then, there's the wonderful irony I sensed as the movie explained how people see what they want to see--of course, the characters use this phrase to describe traditional Christians who defend the faith but it fails to point out that the beliefs of the lead characters are just as subjective.

But, back on the quality of the film itself, the film lacks any real heart or soul. We don't really know why any of this is happenning. The explanation ends up being (as you probably already know) that the Catholic Church will kill to keep it secret that Jesus and Mary Magdeline had kids and their great great great grandkids walk among us.

My question is this: Why would they kill for such a reason?

The film existing proves that the Catholic Church doesn't need to kill anyone to keep it a secret. All they have to do is take a page from the Bush Administration and deny it outright.

Whether you're facing down critics who want to know why you said there were WMD in Iraq when there weren't or if you're facing a bunch of pissed off Catholics claiming Jesus was mortal, just deny it all.

It's rare when the very existence of the movie and the reaction of those it targets disproves the very premise of the movie.

I'm guessing the book has the same faulty premise.

I've got more to say about the film but alas, I have a 9-5 dayjob now and need to get up in about 7 hours and last night I was up late watching this stupid movie...