Hey, All You Believers, Maybe This is God Sending Us a Message?

Found via underpaidgenius:

paulmalouf:

Andrew Nikiforuk @ The Tyee ~ The Enbridge Dirty Dozen: Michigan disaster follows 12 other big spills or penalties this decade for giant aiming to pipe tar sands oil to Kitimat

Enbridge Inc, based in Calgary, Alberta, employs 6,000 workers and ranks 18th as one of Canada’s largest companies in revenue. It operates the world’s longest crude oil pipelines, through which it transports 12 per cent U.S. oil imports.

Between 1999 and 2008 Enbridge recorded 610 spills that released 132,000 barrels of hydrocarbons into farms, wetlands and waterways on the continent. According to the Polaris Institute, this volume of crude “amounts to approximately half of the oil that spilled from the oil tanker the Exxon Valdez after it struck a rock in Prince William Sound, Alaska in 1988.” (…)

As an atheist, I hate to even play along that there might be a god, but since so very much is at stake, I’ll do it this once:

< believe >

HEY, LOOK AT ALL OF THESE OIL MISHAPS! CLEARLY, IT’S THE ALMIGHTY GOD TELLING US TO GET OFF THE OIL!

All the evidence is there. All you need to do is Accept His Will and get off the oil.  What’s your problem?  YOU’LL GO TO HELL IF YOU DON’T SUPPORT ALTERNATIVE ENERGY AND FIGHT GLOBAL WARMING!!

JUST LOOK AT THE SIGNS, IGNORE THEM AND YOU ARE A DENIER OF GOD’S WILL!! 

Look, in a moment of weakness, I, an atheist, prayed to God and asked Him: “God, do you want us to get off oil or not?”

THEN ALL OF THESE SPILLS HAPPENED.

CLEARLY, IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE GET OFF OIL. DO NO BLASHPHEME ANY LONGER.

OIL=SATAN THAT IS ALL.

< /Believe >

This had better work—I even learned of enough of their language to converse with them and everything!