So, TheFiancee and I go out for a nice walk in Westwood Village last night. I was suffering from extreme cabin fever for some reason despite the fact that I've been out of the apartment a lot lately. I think I might just be extra fidgety waiting for the Scotland trip to happen. Damn, still need to make an official announcement about that...
Anyway, so we're just wandering around and I see this new store that has opened up--or rather, I see a skinny chick dancing in incredibly tight shorts and tank top (and nothing else--no shoes or socks) dancing around on the sales counter of a new store. (How could I miss THAT?) Of course, I do a double take as we're walking by but TheFiancee is cool about that--she knows I'm not going to run off with anyone less than Angelina Jolie ;) This dancing chick was hot, but not that hot. So, I'm all for moving on down the street because I can get all of the porn I want online, but TheFiancee notices the name of the store--it's an American Apparel shop.
I tell her that I'm familiar with them because they make all of their clothes in the US and don't use sweatshop labor like most other clothing companies. TF says we should go in and see what their clothes are like.
Something made me uneasy about the store--that "something" was the girl dancing on the sales counter while shoppers browse the, uh, racks. I'm perfectly hetero as anyone who knows me will attest to but there's something about overt sexuality being used to sell stuff that really gets under my skin--frankly, I despise it.
I remember I was at a ren fair (the only one I've ever been to) with TheFiancee a few years back--we wandered up to this booth selling feather-related items like feather dusters and other, feathery items that you'd expect to see at a ren fair (I guess?). This guy and this girl at the booth were going around stroking people with these feather things with handles. Call me a prude, but this bugged me. The woman approached me next and started stroking my arm with this feather thing and asked me if it felt nice. I told her it did and I said thanks, but no thanks. The whole thing made me feel awkward--I felt like she was coming on to me, but really all she was doing was trying to get me horny enough to buy a feather thing. This seemed really lame to me, especially since she didn't even ask me if I minded my personal space being invaded.
Anyway, so I grabbed TheFiancee and we left.
So, years later, we're browsing through the American Apparel store in Westwood. I'm averting my eyes because it's pretty uncomfortable being there with TF. I soon realized that all of the employees were wearing skimpy little underpants and shirts that were all available in the store. I'm guessing they weren't wearing shoes or socks because AA doesn't sell them. Now, mind you, women were not the only gender who were working there.
Also, every employee in the place was cute in a trailer-trashy kind of way--you remember those jean ads from a few years ago that made people think the models in them were crack-addicted children about to be sold into sex slavery? These people seemed a bit better fed, but beyond that... well, you get the idea.
"Wanna go upstairs and check out the men's clothing?" TF asks.
"Sure," I say while thinking, 'Maybe there won't be any skinny chicks shaking their asses in my face making me have a hard time deciding if I want to have sex or buy clothes.'
Of course, in the men's section comes male employees.
But more about that in a sec. As we climbed the stairs we saw that there were old issues of Oui magazine polybagged and hung on the walls surrounding the steps, many of them featuring topless women on the covers. Again, me likey the ladies, but in public like that? In a clothing store? Here, I thought we were being "responsible" by going into a store that sold only products made in America, instead we get inundated with sexual imagery. WTF?
So, we climb the steps to check out the men's clothing upstairs.
Now, I've got no problem with TheGay. I've had gay friends over the years and I have no problem with them. I just have problem with sex in my face (well, unless I ask for it). This translates to any kind of advance. Hell, I hate sales people at Best Buy who ask me if I need any help. So, after about ten minutes of being shocked at how expensive T-shirts made in America are, this one guy wanders up to me and asks if I need any help.
He was wearing a yellow Polo-style shirt (with the collar up) and the same little underpants the women were wearing.
I thought I had noticed him giving me "the eye" earlier but I wrote that off as him just being an employee doing his job, perhaps wondering if I needed help. But when he skipped past other customers, including TF, I felt, frankly, like he was choosing to help me for a reason. Of course, those little underpants were like kryptonite for me.
"No, I'm fine," I shot back at him a bit too harshly after an awkward pause. I then turned to TheFiancee and said "OK, let's get going."
"Honey, look at these sweats--these are cool."
"Yeah, that's great, I'm really, uh, ready to go."
"Oh, OK."
We head down and, after dealing the TF annoyingly lingered at a couple of racks on the ground floor, we left buying nothing.
"Wow, that was easily the single most uncomfortable shopping experience I've ever had!" I explained.
It was just so strange to me--I've been in dozens of clothing stores over the years--some for women, some for men, shopping with TF and by myself and I've never felt that sexually assaulted (No, I'm not comparing my shopping experience to rape). Hell, I've shopped in a Victoria's Secret and haven't felt that in-the-faced with sex as I did at that American Apparel store.
I guess there are two lessons that can be learned from this experience:
1) Sex sells, but for some people, no matter the gender or gender preference, there can be a limit to how much sex is too much.
2) If you're broke and can't afford to go to a real strip club, find the local American Apparel store and head on in! They've even got changing rooms in the back that you can, uh, you know. Hell, with all that stimulation, it's only fair that they offer a private booth for release, right?
Of course, keeping lesson #2 in mind you might want to wash any American Apparel clothes you buy before you wear them. :D
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